✦ The Poem ✦
The King’s Breakfast
by A. A. Milne, from When We Were Very Young (1924). Public domain in the United States.
The King asked The Queen, and The Queen asked The Dairymaid: “Could we have some butter for The Royal slice of bread?” The Queen asked The Dairymaid, The Dairymaid Said, “Certainly, I’ll go and tell The cow Now Before she goes to bed.”
The Dairymaid She curtsied, And went and told The Alderney: “Don’t forget the butter for The Royal slice of bread.” The Alderney Said sleepily: “You’d better tell His Majesty That many people nowadays Like marmalade Instead.”
The Dairymaid Said, “Fancy!” And went to Her Majesty She curtsied to the Queen, and She turned a little red: “Excuse me, Your Majesty, For taking of The liberty, But marmalade is tasty, if It’s very Thickly Spread.”
The Queen said “Oh!” And went to His Majesty: “Talking of the butter for The Royal slice of bread, Many people Think that Marmalade Is nicer. Would you like to try a little Marmalade Instead?”
The King said, “Bother!” And then he said, “Oh, deary me!” The King sobbed, “Oh, deary me!” And went back to bed. “Nobody,” He whimpered, “Could call me A fussy man; I only want A little bit Of butter for My bread!”
The Queen said, “There, there!” And went to The Dairymaid. The Dairymaid Said, “There, there!” And went to the shed. The cow said, “There, there! I didn’t really Mean it; Here’s milk for his porringer And butter for his bread.”
The Queen took The butter And brought it to His Majesty; The King said, “Butter, eh?” And bounced out of bed. “Nobody,” he said, As he kissed her Tenderly, “Nobody,” he said, As he slid down The banisters, “Nobody, My darling, Could call me A fussy man— BUT “I do like a little bit of butter to my bread!”